DREAM / The Prime Minister resigns and wakes up under the Parisian bridge!

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VOX-OSCOPE OF FEBRUARY / Attention! Olta can bring out the unwashed and reveal the names of your lovers this month…

2023-02-01 21:16:22Patronazhisti SHKRUAR NGA REDAKSIA VOX
VOX-OSCOPE OF FEBRUARY / Attention! Olta can bring out the unwashed and reveal
Olta getting ready to air your laundry...

ARIES - The month will start smoothly for you. However, you should be prepared for bitter surprises around February 14th, since Olta has made it clear that you've been scratching it again, she'll reveal the names of all the lovers you've had in the last three years. So, you made us honest and wise, so that we know well what a booty you are!

TAURUS – An ex-FBI agent named Charles McGonigal will enter your life this month, and will offer to mediate in getting Lul Basha out as a spy for the Russians, named Nikita Bashenkov. But he knocked on the wrong door, because Luli doesn't fit in your pocket at all; you have historically been a voter of Tak Njjela.

GEMINI - A dramatic event will upset Teresa, but you will keep calm and not take any action. Because the cleaner of your house will discover 400,000 euros in packages of 500 hidden in the vacuum cleaner, but you will categorically deny that the money was yours.

CANCER - Bella Balluku will rush into your life, with the grand announcement that the Llogara tunnel has finally opened. It will make your van trip to the Riviera more enjoyable this summer when you return to your seasonal job as a waiter. 

LEO - A heavy burden will fall on your wet shoulders this month. The influence of Mars on your sign will make you have two new idols: Luiz and Doctor Berisha. Your fragile psyche could probably handle each one individually, but with both cheaters together you have no hope.

VIRGO - Animal protection activists will accuse you of being cruel and merciless by not opening the phone to Tiger. But why did you stink, how long Arben Ahmetaj was in the government, you were always close to him, and now you act as if you don't know him?

LIBRA – You'll try to copy Edi Rama this month, making idiotic drawings on your notepad during work meetings. This is with the hope that your works will be sold for thousands of euros at exhibitions in Venice, Paris, Berlin. But the only thing you will benefit from will be the layoff.

SCORPIO - You have finally matured! This month, you will make the firm decision to give up junk once and for all. This includes toads, that you will be stuck with your parents and go out to roam the world, pretending to be single. 

SAGITTARIUS - You are a unique, unrepeatable being. Even if you had doubts about it, you should listen to more people who know you, who unanimously agree that they have never seen a bigger beast than you!

CAPRICORN - Don't listen to what the world says because you have a deeply unstable nature, terrible emotional swings and psychosis that makes others leave you an hour or so ago. After all, all these voices are in your head.    

AQUARIUS – For centuries, fire has been valued as a symbol of vitality and power. Keep this optimistic outlook in mind this month, when you forget the beans in the fire and set the kitchen on fire.  

PISCES - The people have a proverb; stone by stone becomes the wall. And in your case, the three stones you threw at your neighbor's window glass will successfully lock you up for a month within the walls of the police station. 

Note: Patronageist is a satirical horoscope scientific column


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