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NOVEMBER PROTESTOSCOPE / The elder of the DP follows every gathering of people, Rama receives news from the government

2026-11-02 20:09:42Patronazhisti SHKRUAR NGA REDAKSIA VOX
NOVEMBER PROTESTOSCOPE / The elder of the DP follows every gathering of people,
The old man searching wherever there are crowds of people, to get among them and lead them towards the future

ARIES

Be careful when you are in the company of two or more people and you are perceived as a group. Because you may fall under the influence of an old man from the DP, who will approach you like that, remembering that you are a protest group. The old man will promise to lead you towards your future and his victory, together with Mulin, Bana, Gjekë the joker and Klevis who still smells like Lana. In general, be careful at any gathering, whether for a birthday, prom, engagement or circumcision, because the old man will suddenly appear out of nowhere. Since he himself cannot gather even ten people, he has an acute craving for any group of people gathered, even by chance.  

Taurus

Mercury will try to enter your life this month. More precisely, into your home, to take away the little money you keep aside for some trouble. But you will find out, you will get caught and you will be taken to the police station for insulting the dignity and personality of your neighbor thief. The money you thought you got away with, you will give to the prosecutor to mitigate the charges. After all, you had saved it for a day of trouble, right?

Gemini

The stars will align in your sign so that you attack and break into an ATM on Elbasan Street, hoping to find some money inside that the government has stolen to distribute to the people. Then the stars will align specifically so that your face is identified by the cameras, you are arrested by the police, and you are thrown in the police station, in the same cell as Demi above.

CRAB

If your name is Edi and your last name is Rama, get ready to get some news from the government. Your office will be moved from Tirana's main boulevard to a nice apartment in "Myslym Shyri", because that's what Bella Ballukja has decided. It's not cool, she'll tell you, for Lali to move from Durrës to Fier, while you don't move even 500 meters further. The reason, however, is major: She needs a lot of space, because all those boxes of euros can't heat a single villa in Palasa.  

LION

You are under the influence of Aphrodite and you don't play ball. She tells you what to do, how to dress, what to eat, where to go, who to meet. You need to understand before it's too late that the Aphrodite you pay so much attention to is not a horoscope planet, but your sister-in-law's aunt's girl who barely finished ninth grade.   

Virgo

Sometimes, the most wonderful things are found in the places you least expect them, whether it's aesthetic pleasure, true love, peace of mind, or, in your case, a super stylish jacket on sale that will join the twenty other jackets you have on your clothes rack.

Libra

You act as you please, but always keep in mind: No matter how bad things go in your life, no matter how hopeless the situation seems, no matter how annoying you are at work, at the end of the day you have a home and a family, where you can go and scream at the TV every time Erjon Braçja comes on.  

Scorpio

Sometimes words fail to adequately express people's feelings and experiences, and what they really think about you. That's why you often find garbage bags at your doorstep in the mornings.

Sagittarius

To resolve your big misunderstanding, the stars are emphasizing it once again: Just because you're a Sagittarius in your horoscope doesn't mean you should go around with a bow and arrow terrorizing the world, you beast! Think about it: What would you do if you were a crab?

Capricorn

Animal rights activists will once again accuse you of cruel and inhumane behavior, even though you will tire yourself out in vain to explain to them that you bought the chicken at the store, and in the end you ate a leg or a piece of meat...

Aquarius

Did you hear the latest? The Sun has moved closer to Virgo, Mars is giving and taking with Libra, the Moon has completely taken over Capricorn's mind... you're the only one left to do the doorknob!

Pisces

Your planet-wide alarm because your sweetheart hasn't come alive a full hour after you broke up is comparable only to your universal anger because your sweetheart was two minutes late for their first meeting an hour ago. One detail: You forget that with these alarms, your sweetheart can be heartbroken.  

Note: The Patronageist is simply a satirical column and the above text is not the real scientific material that real horoscopes have.


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