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2026-09-27 12:21:08Patronazhisti SHKRUAR NGA REDAKSIA VOX
Albanian Prime Minister speaking at the UN

My turn came to preach in this wilderness where there is not a single inch of soil, and where only thorns grow.

Dear UN President Andon Gurabardhi, and you representatives of the global peasantry who are completely out of touch with life!

They asked me when I came here: "Hey, how is it that you have so much intelligence from Albania? What is your secret?"

Now, I don't understand intelligence, but I'll say two words: Sazani and Zvërnec belong to Ivanka and that's it! She discovered them, she deserves them! And let her enjoy them together with her husband, Xhared, with the Kalamans of her clan and all that her heart desires! Here's to rejoicing! 

Those who protest do not exist, they are internet algorithms of those who do not want the Kushner family to integrate into the EU in 2028. 

I'm telling you a secret that no one knows: Did you know that after World War II there were more Jews in Albania... you know? I've said it so many times that I've become a fool? Well, we're humans, not computers (My God, burn your graphics card, what's this speech you wrote me!).

Yes, well, do you know this other one? The Albanian's house belongs to the god and the friend...Which god? Now, I am both Orthodox, Catholic, Bektashi, Jew, and Hindu. Therefore, the Albanian's house belongs to all the gods and friends. So, how do we become Air Bnbs?

No, so I don't get scattered. 

Here's what artificial intelligence does in the wrong hands: It invents that Albania is run by Israelis and others start to believe it. They even invent non-existent characters, like a certain Ron Yefet, who has taken the reins of government into his own hands.

Like Roni invents companies and projects, and it goes in and out of the state budget like it's in his own shop. 

These are slanders! That motherfucker wasn't even born to take the reins of government away from me, and Roni doesn't do anything without my permission and knowledge... I mean, he wouldn't do anything if he existed. 

But narratives stimulated by malicious actors through artificial intelligence should not stop us from using it, otherwise we will be left behind, we will become micro-bourgeois like in the time of the Turks. Here, we have the Sun, our artificial boss, who many believed would not last long in office. But here we are today:

Half of the prime ministers and deputy prime ministers of the government, directors and mayors, are in prison, while Diella lives and reigns, along with the face that we nationalized for public needs from an actress, and we have no intention of returning it. 

 But I have not come to talk about the protests, nor to explain how it is possible that all the officials and collaborators I have chosen, or 

a) are in prison for theft, or 

b) are getting ready for prison, or 

c) they are still stealing with a sleepy mind that prison awaits them.

I've come to talk about the great global dilemmas of Artificial Intelligence, because I don't want to tell anyone about the place where I was born. 

Even less, let me talk about the head of the Intelligence Service, who made the big blunder that despite having all that beautiful name, Vlora, she went and got involved with Gysi from Durrës. Why with a maid, did the Vlora people beat me up or something? And I, as soon as I found out, fired her, even though they warned me: "We will look for Vlora, Admiral, but it will be too late! We will wander like Jews in the desert!"

But no, gentlemen, the opposite is true. In my country, Jews are now roaming around Vlora, Vlora is under house arrest, Barjam is eating in public, while the real desert is here, at the UN, where I have been waiting for three hours to give a speech with only a sandwich and a bottle of water. Just think about it, this whole meeting, without an orchestra!

Note: This is the Prime Minister's real speech, which the Patronageist took to Diella in confidence, after the latter swore to him: "For you, I will burn all the districts"...       


Në përputhje me standarded JTI

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