OPEN LETTER/ Come to the dialogue and listen to me speak, otherwise I will cut off your scholarships, you will rot in prison. Please!

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Voxpress:

2026-10-27 18:20:43Patronazhisti SHKRUAR NGA REDAKSIA VOX
Moment from the capture of stones at the port of Durres

Pastor Taulant's success

A frightening news comes from the port of Durrës, where the police announced that three containers filled with stones and pebbles have been seized, ready to be used by vandals in the Tirana protest. The discovery of these cold weapons was made possible thanks to the police canine team and specially trained dogs, after several attempts. This is because, firstly, it was very cold, and secondly, the stones were hidden so professionally inside packages of cocaine that not even the scanner was able to detect them.

The Prime Minister immediately went to a press conference to thank his state's police and to give some details about the operation. He stated that this event is even more serious than the one a few days ago, when a large quantity of criminal anti-gas masks and protective glasses were discovered hidden among ordinary packages of pressed hashish. The Prime Minister added that he would propose a special reward for the trained police dog, the pastor from Librezhda named Taulant.    

The secret of Ballthiu's beauty

In recent days, everyone in the DP was amazed by the special light that had fallen on MP Klevis Ballthiu. A light shone on his face, while his forehead, which extends halfway down his head, shone. Ballthiu understood the amazement of his colleagues, especially Belo Këllëfi's desire to ask him, so he dismissed his worries.

"You Belo remember that my forehead shines from the usual treatment of applying pacha and pilaf, as my father taught me. No dear. Since I swam in the Lana like Comrade Mao Zedong who swam across the Yangtze River, I have become a different person. I recommend it. It's a little cold at first but you get used to it; that blessed water has made my skin as clear as marble."

In fact, it seems that the advice has been taken into account. Finally, the bridge in front of the SHQUP has been left without work, because most Democrats cross the Lana on foot to get to the headquarters.

I Gjati insists: In a democracy, theft is done with votes, not with violence

In the interview he gave the day before yesterday for the Greek newspaper "To'pe To'pe o papagalos", Gjati reiterated that he will not resign just because some idiots want him to.

"You Greeks should know better than I do, that you invented democracy. In a democracy, theft is done by vote, not by violence. My lord, when my thieving mandate ends, let us try it in the elections, whoever steals more than me, let him come to power. Whoever steals below the parliamentary threshold, let him not enter parliament. Those parties that steal a little, let them form a coalition and pool the loot. This is the law, " declared I Gjati.

The Doctor's Promise was coming to power.

The more the protesters want him in prison, the more the Doctor has supported the protests. Even with the altruism that has characterized him since childhood, he has supplied the protest with ready-made student groups from Kamza, Mamurc and Laç.

"Go boys, make a bridge. Be careful, because you broke something on the first day. Don't break the bars and barbershops because there's no fun, only the banks and the mobile companies. And since you're there, take note of those who want The Tall One in jail, those who want me in jail, and those who want us both inside, " he ordered.   

Meanwhile, with passion and tears in his eyes, he has defended protesters who have been raped by the criminal police.

"Aaaa one second, I guarantee you! The protester is sacred, sir, he is not touched!"

"I assure you, if I come back to power, the police will not touch even a hair of the protesters' hair: Yes, I can kill 3, 30, or 300 protesters from the office window, but no one will drive them by hand! Rama, go!"

Note: Patronažisti is a satirical column in favor of protest against violence… protest violence… violent protest… violence against protesters… something like that more or less  


Në përputhje me standarded JTI

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