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TALKS / Russian colleague invites Ukrainian negotiator: Eat cake, it is very ope…

2022-04-20 23:40:06Patronazhisti SHKRUAR NGA REDAKSIA VOX

ISTANBUL - Although he had received firm orders not to consume any food offered by the Russian side, Ukrainian negotiator Mikhail Podoljak could not take his eyes off a cake tray on the negotiating table. Russian counterpart Vladimir Medinsky had put the dessert on the table for a few minutes, inviting Ukrainian friends:

"This is what my old woman did. I cry omensins. Take from an opera, men! ” 

***

Sources for the Patronageist later claimed that Mr. Podoljak was well aware of the dangers that could come from eating or drinking Russian food and fluids during peace talks. But as it escaped him loudly, "ueee, some cake, what aroma, I am fainting from delight!".

The fact is that the entire Ukrainian delegation had a week pushing it with biscuits and tap water. Podoljak claimed that despite the warnings of the secret services, "no one prepared us to resist such cakes, soft as a sponge, filled with chocolate cream, a magical invitation to our troubled stomachs."

***

As it is learned, the Russian side had taken care to place some glasses filled with bio milk next to the cakes, for which the negotiator Medinski declared with a laugh: “My old lady has just milked it. She has two cows in the house in the village, their names are Masha and Dasha! ”

Negotiator Podoljak reacted coldly, but inside he decided that with such indifference, to show a little cake from the sides, so as not to be rude.

"I do not believe they poisoned him with polonium," Podoljak thought, "that they themselves would be infected." Here, I'm getting this little piece… "

***

In a sudden turn of events, sources claim for the Patronageist, the group entered the negotiation room with Turkish mediators, who had brought with them a large plate of baklava pieces. As the Ukrainian negotiator consumed half the plate, Russian Medinski abruptly declared angrily that he could not negotiate on these terms, and abandoned the negotiations.

Note: The patronage is a non-poisonous satirical column 


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