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Satire/ Interview with the monkey who beat three policemen and a Greek tourist in Saranda!

2022-07-16 10:45:41Pikëpamje SHKRUAR NGA LUTFI DERVISHI
Satire/ Interview with the monkey who beat three policemen and a Greek tourist
Kiko

- Your owner says that you are peaceful, why did you resort to acts of violence, especially now in the middle of the tourist season in Saranda?

- Am I under accusation? I have the right to a lawyer. Yes, but the lawyers are on indefinite strike because of the new judicial map that has reduced the number of courts.

Why did you hit the cops?

- It is not a personal matter.

- Are you twisting the question?

-No. At first I was nervous that the municipal police came because someone had denounced me as a goldsmith. As you can see, I am not gold. My name is Kikua.

- The police report says that you slapped the three municipal police officers. Why?

-Someone insulted me and told me that he might have monkeypox.

-Why are you sure you don't have the contagious disease?

- I feel sorry for you because we are also cousins. These last 100 years you have flowed completely: first you were afraid of bird flu, then chicken flu, then swine flu, then bat covid and now monkey pox. I have a question for you, Mr. Prosecutor, why don't you visit the vet, but still trust the doctor?

- What about the other two policemen...

- I have my reasons. First, they are not doing their homework. In Saranda, but also in Tirana where I have been for the last few days, trees are thinning and concrete is being added. In Tirana, the tallest building in the Balkans has built 5 floors without permission.

-What do you need this for?

- Useless. Next to this high tower, they had cut down 10 trees in front of the ETC. When my kind owner came in for coffee, I used to hang out in the trees there. From there I saw the floors without permission. The municipal police of Tirana told me that the height of the tower, in the beginning, was built according to the map of Albania, but seeing that Europe is not opening the negotiations, 5 more floors were added to make room for Greater Albania.

- Oh. Why did you start dealing with politics?

- No, I don't mess with politics. Before I came to you, I rejected a request that came to me from the opposition.

- What did the opposition ask you?

- I was promised free bananas for life if I took 20 more monkeys and joined the next opposition protest.

- What did you like in Tirana?

Zoo. The best in the world.
-Are you kidding?

NO I'm serious. Most of the animals there were made of plastic. So it is a step forward to respect animal rights.

- What about in Albania?

- I heard you have the best bananas in the world? When I eat bananas here I live two lives at the same moment!

- Why did you hit the Greek tourist?

- For revenge!

-Can you clarify for us?

- The Greek is cunning. It pretends to bring us tourists for a day and take away our workers for a year. You have seen this year that children are working as waiters. But I didn't hit him just for that. The Greek tourist insulted me badly.

-What did he say?

- As soon as the sea trial is over, - he said, you will be a tourist in Saranda and not me. Then through his teeth he added: we are the oldest on earth! You have come after us!

-For the Greek tourist, we can make a concession, but I know you know that beating the policemen is a blow due to duty?!

- I know, but precisely because of my duty I hit them. They did not perform their duty. They do not guarantee space on the public beach.

- We are done for today!

- Sir, prosecutor, since you have finished, I also have a question for you: Out of curiosity, is there anything about the incinerators named Kiko Trimi?


Në përputhje me standarded JTI

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