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Fascination and fear

2024-01-24 18:11:00Pikëpamje SHKRUAR NGA DOM GJERGJ META
Fascination and fear
Dom Gjergj Meta

The universe, on a night with a clear sky and a calm endless sea, fascinates me as much as it frightens me.

While affirming this, I am reminded of the lectures on fascinosum et tremendum regarding Being or God, in the subject of Metaphysics. For example, the reflection of a sky full of stars or the views from NASA's giant telescopes cause in me this mixture of feelings of fascination and fear.

I don't know for what specific reason, but my religious feeling has started somehow connected with death and the infinity of the universe or rather, with its survival to my death. I almost felt a kind of jealousy that the universe would survive my death.

The first time I was faced with infinity was in Mathematics class. I also learned his symbol "♾️" there. In 1994, I was hospitalized in one of the hospitals in Bari. A doctor who worked there once told me that every disease, whether it is mild or severe, has an infinity of possibilities, since between 0 and 1 there are an infinity of numbers and also from 0 begins a infinity of numbers.

I don't know if this infinity is real or if it has to do with man's inability to imagine or prove beyond, but I find it increasingly difficult to imagine infinity. So difficult that it's both fascinating and terrifying.

Which prevails over the other? If fascination prevails, courage to the hilt arises. That's what I wondered in front of a calm sea (even the sea gives this effect of infinity). When I was a teenager, I sometimes went and dived into the sea as early as 6 o'clock in the morning and swam with lust, as if I wanted to reach the bottom and own the infinity that appeared before my eyes. The fatigue of the limbs, which collided with the water, tearing it towards the depth, also marked the first forms of fear. Fascination told me: "Go on a little longer!", while fear slowly whispered to me: "Stop and turn back!" Until one day it took the strong arms of an older friend of mine to save me from drowning. There I recognized the limit and in the following days I did not go beyond it.

And yet, the limit had not erased either the fascination or the fear. But he became a good guide in the paths of the infinite, a kind of Virgil in the world of Hades, even in dreams, which by their very nature have neither a beginning nor an end, or at least we do not remember them.

When, at the turn of the 19th century, Freud discovered the unconscious, of which dreams are also an element, man touched another universe, fascinating and terrifying at the same time, which, his discoverer himself, compared to an iceberg divided into three parts: Ego, Superego and Id. In those years, the ship "Titanic", the symbol of an almost invincible maritime pride, sank in the ocean after colliding with an iceberg.

That iceberg became the limit of human, rational, scientific and inventive pride. The latter were drowned by an iceberg, like the great strategist, Pyrrhus, by a vase of flowers.


Në përputhje me standarded JTI

2024

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Monika Stafa / 2024-01-14 15:58:03Point of Views

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