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THE PLAN CHANGES / I Gjati gathers all the Albanians in Sazan, frees Albania from Trump

2024-11-24 15:47:47Patronazhisti SHKRUAR NGA REDAKSIA VOX
THE PLAN CHANGES / I Gjati gathers all the Albanians in Sazan, frees Albania
The new apartments of Albanians in Sazan

TIRANA/MAR-a-LAGO - Donald Trump's victory was so convincing that Te Gjati was ashamed of himself for doubting those two summer months when the polls showed Kamala better.

"Right in the polls, " he said to himself, as he caught a new alarm. What if all these tests and surveys he did for the party with lek in hand, resulted in five to nothing? He hurriedly rang Zalo Foshnje's phone and went straight to the phone:

"Master, did you do well with these polls, which show the SP 113%, or are you going to take the European progressives by the neck? That you saw how the desolate Kamala suffered."

"No," replied Zalua, " they don't know, that's why they ate it." My surveys are rigorous, serious, famous but by no means self-indulgent. Then, the sample that I take as a basis…”.

"Go, Zalo, " I Gjati cut him off, " just keep one thing in mind, because you sometimes forget." You will give me the real polls, not the fluff you put out in the press. Catch it?”

*** 

His mind went back to Donald. He took a deep breath when he thought about how well he had done to give Sazan an advance to his daughter, Ivanka Shejtanka. He was in negotiations to give him Corfu as well, but he was told that the Greeks had it.

But now new measures had to be taken. Don's victory was so impressive that it deserved a gift of equal weight. They don't joke, he won the popular vote, the senate, the congress, with a thousand open files and two hundred facts confirmed. He promised to deport Latino immigrants, and Latinos overwhelmingly voted for him. He insisted that he would continue to grab the women from below, and they voted for him without hesitation.

"What a giant character," he smiled meditatively, "reminds me of myself." I've been leaving pensioners without bread for ten years, I only give them a chicken leg for New Year's, and they still leave their heads for me!"

But he pulled himself together. Enough with romanticism, he said to himself and urgently called Bella Balluken for consultation. 

"Listen, witch," he said, " the two of us are going to talk about something serious."

"Mr. Prime Minister, " she was spoiled, " what are these conversations, I'm connected." They both laughed.

"Leave the movies to take your mind with these coquettes," and I Gjati became serious, "how many inhabitants did we really get from the last census? Don't tell me the official data".

"Somewhere around 1,200,000 people," said Bella, " but since pensioners barely make ends meet, we hope that the number will decrease even more."

Very well, said the Tall One, listen now...

*** 

And he laid out a plan. Until then, they had agreed to give Sazan to Donald's Ivanka, but even she understood that now this gift was too little. Trump will be the boss of the world, so we have to get along with him, he said. What did Bella think, if they gathered all the Albanians in Sazan, and left the rest of the country to Ivanka for agriculture?

"As a thought, it's not bad," Bella says thoughtfully, hiding her sudden preoccupation with great effort, "sea yes, sun yes, beach yes... But Sazani is bad with water. Then like too small for a million people. Don't become like Gaza..."

The Tall One took out a map and said firmly: " Look at the map, elf! A million people have gathered in Tirana, and they have left the rest empty. If they had so many neps for space and fresh air, they wouldn't all be crammed together like in the cottage in this wool capital. I am convinced that they will be very good in Sazan as well".

Bella pulled herself together and called upon all of her remaining arsenal of weapons.

"Genius, you are magnificent" , he said to the boss, "it hadn't occurred to me." Now that I think about it, even if there are too many people that Sazani doesn't drive, I know where to take them."

"No?" the Tall One became curious.

"In the Gjadri camp, where else? That empty one will remain, as it seems, the baths!"

Note: The patronage is a satirical Sazanistic column


Në përputhje me standarded JTI

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