DREAM / The Prime Minister resigns and wakes up under the Parisian bridge!

 Kliko këtu për të tjera
Voxpress:

INSPIRATION / Rama hopes that all Albanians will leave the country within three days!

2024-05-09 17:15:24Patronazhisti SHKRUAR NGA REDAKSIA VOX
INSPIRATION / Rama hopes that all Albanians will leave the country within three
Albanian Prime Minister Edi Rama with the file of economic growth figures in hand

TIRANA - Although he did not want to give himself up, Albanian Prime Minister Edi Rama has been constantly worried about the mass departure of Albanians from the country during the years of his government, confidential sources say for Patronage.

Partial reporting on the flight of 200,000, then another 200,000, on the flight of nurses, then doctors, then students and so on, while paradoxically, the GDP and per capita income of the top ten businessmen only were growing, they have troubled the head of the government so much that the advisers suggested an original solution: the bursting of successive corruption scandals for diversion.

The suggestions were based on the latest studies in crowd psychology, according to which attracting attention with a chain of sensational scandals would keep the population glued to the television. There have been many cases when entire families have postponed going to Germany, just out of curiosity to see how the case of Arben Llalla will end; how to proceed with Ter Koka's file; what would happen to Ben Ahmetaj?

And in fact, the news of Sali Berisha's house arrest, according to reliable polls, actually stopped the escape of Albanians for three consecutive months. 

But it turned out that even this was a temporary solution.

***

"The problem, Mr. Prime Minister, is the centuries-old psyche of the Albanians, " the councilors told him, " the people have not said for nothing, the biggest surprise lasts three days. This means that the adrenaline that stimulates a scandalous news stops producing after 72 hours" . Scientifically, the human body requires an increasingly large dose to get the same satisfaction from exciting substances, such as adrenaline. But the scandals could not be without end, despite the efforts of the prime minister and his staff.

Rama's alarm was put to rest by the last population and housing census, which revealed that Albania had no more than 1.5 million residents.

He told instaSTAT to keep the data secret until he thinks of a way out. And he decided to play with the opposite reaction: To make the remaining population jealous, with the news that the government will bring 40 thousand foreign workers to the country. The place of origin was left a mystery, to add suspense.

"Thus, not only will they not run away, but some of those who ran away will also return," declared Rama.

***

But surprisingly, escapes, applications for escape, requests for residence permits and even requests for political asylum continued to increase. The Prime Minister despaired. Anonymous sources claimed that he thought of the last drastic step: To make a big personal scandal and go to SPAK himself, hoping that humanity would stay for some time in Albania to follow the continuation. But he withdrew at the last moment. There was a problem that there was no one to solve half of the crises in the Balkans and some pressing issues in the EU.

Then he remembered the three-day work.

"Listen to what we are going to do," he said to the close staff, "since the greatest wonder lasts three days, we must urge all the remaining population, willingly or unwillingly, to leave the country within three days! That way, no one will be left wondering. Some Italians from the call centers and ten Egyptian sailors who are in Vlora can stay, but they don't spoil our work!"   

Note: The patronage is a pro-scandal anti-immigrant satirical column


Në përputhje me standarded JTI

Video

SHIKO KANALIN NE YOUTUBE
×