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10 ways to spot a cheater in a relationship

2022-11-02 18:19:15Lifestyle SHKRUAR NGA REDAKSIA VOX
10 ways to spot a cheater in a relationship
10 ways to spot a cheater in a relationship

The "true stories" of fraudsters that appear from time to time in the media can be defined from "mundane" to "unbelievable". You may think that you will never fall prey to the devious tactics of these people, but this is not always the case. No matter how confident you are that it won't happen again, things don't always go according to plan.

A user is interested in spending a night with you. Researchers who study these short-term associations tend to focus on long-term health consequences. They think that both parties are interested in keeping the relationship as short-term as possible. Researchers have found that short-term, sex-focused relationships are commonly associated with poor mental health.

But what makes a cheater different from those looking for short-term sex is that the cheater tries to manipulate partners who may be looking for a more permanent relationship. This is about scammers pretending to be on the same page as you and then blatantly pretending to be the opposite.

In some ways, scammers tend to use traditional tactics to convince you. Everyone relies on persuasive methods to influence someone else's behavior.

Manipulators need to influence people they have never met before to make them like them almost instantly. For this mission they rely on strategies that others use to make a good impression, such as being attractive, charming or successful. Unlike a person who is genuinely interested in being involved in a romantic relationship, manipulators do not appear to be looking for love, but appear to be narcissistic and Machiavellian.

Psychologist Peter Jonason of Western University and psychologist David Buss of the University of Texas examined what they called "short-term mating strategies" that have nothing to do with long-term commitment.

Based on the idea that these manipulators have 'dark' personality characteristics, the two psychologists took a two-stage approach to identify the behaviors and personalities of these individuals.

The researchers did not follow the stereotypes that fraudsters are always male, but included many women in their analysis. Of the 71 actions that resulted in responses, some ranged from verbal and physical abuse to avoidance, such as not returning emails or phone calls. Between these extremes, manipulators tried to be as non-involved as possible, avoided bodily intimacy such as hugs, made statements that they were looking for short-term sex.

The short-term bonding strategies that the researchers identified in this first phase then became the basis for a rating scale of another group of participants who conducted a second study.

This time, a number of 300 students were analyzed with an almost equal percentage of women and men. Participants reported on their propensity to perform continuous acts with cheaters and answered questions about their behavior toward casual sex, rating themselves on how good of a partner they believed they were. They also rated themselves based on personality as well as the degree of dark elements.

Because the study was based on self-esteem, it is likely that they were inclined to make themselves appear as good as possible. The study found that female manipulators were just as intriguing as their male counterparts. According to the conclusions, it turned out that people were not too shy to reveal their behavior from the deceiver and manipulator.

Minimizing the escalation of the relationship in the long term and maintaining the sexual aspect instead of the emotional one were two of the main behaviors. By avoiding contact, intimacy, and integration into the other person's life, a manipulator makes sure to get from you only what he intends.

There are cases when these people with narrow goals behave abusively towards their partner, both physically and verbally. To keep the relationship short-term, they rely on the strategy of alcohol as an excuse, implying that the relationship was only sexual and that the search for other sexual partners would continue.

Men and women are equally likely to use tactics that would keep the relationship distant and purely sexual. However, there were some gender differences. Men were more likely to use direct violence against their partners, while women openly showed interest in only sexual relationships.

Among other things, these manipulative people had antisocial tendencies. As predicted, they were more likely to be narcissistic and not integrate their partners into their lives. Women were interested in keeping the relationship as far as possible from the intimacy and emotional stage, while men were interested in showing a high degree of vigilance.

Actions people take to maintain short-term and superficial relationships:

Rude actions such as verbal violence and physical abuse

Avoiding physical intimacy

Isolation from society and acquaintances

Openly flirting with others in your presence

Being unavailable

Psychological signs of manipulators

Men seem to be only interested in what you can do for them and show no desire to help you

Women are late, dismissive and unconcerned about meeting you

Women appear unstable, anxious and insecure

Both genders are more concerned about their appearance

Both genders show a lack of interest in the other's feelings


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