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With the nanny, with the grandmother or in the nursery... which is the right choice for the child?

2024-02-13 13:37:52Lifestyle SHKRUAR NGA REDAKSIA VOX

With the nanny, with the grandmother or in the nursery... which is the right

What is best for the child: to grow up with a grandmother who loves him, with a nanny who is a professional, or in a daycare, socializing with other children and learning from educators?

Let's look at the factors that will help us to make the first important decision for raising our children.

If we choose an experienced nanny as a babysitter

Advantages

◦ The child remains in place and in the protected environment of our home.
◦ There is no need to wake up the child early in the morning to go to kindergarten.
◦ The nanny strictly follows the program we give her. The child goes for a walk every day at the same time, eats and sleeps without suffering
◦ The nanny is (or at least should be) completely dedicated to the care of the child. I can read to him, teach him things, shape and generally motivate him creatively.
◦ Does not pick up viruses one by one. It remains protected from diseases.

Disadvantages

◦ Choosing the right nanny for the child is difficult. This takes time, research, strong instincts and is a process that can create stress.
◦ No matter how good and 'controlled' the nanny is, she is still a new face in our house, in our family. This can create anxiety, doubt, jealousy, and even guilt.
◦ Choosing the nut costs more than the other two solutions.
◦ The child spends long hours with the nanny, so he does not have the stimuli that will help development, he will get bored, complain, want other children for company.

Tips for a better fit with a nanny

◦ Ideally the nanny should come to your house and not the child to her house. This ensures that the change for the child is not so strong. He will feel comfortable as he will be at home, near his beloved toys, so adapting to the new situation without parents will be easier.
◦ We make sure that the child gets to know the new person in his life as calmly as possible. In the first days we stay together with the nanny and the child so that the child feels safe with her and we explain to the child (no matter how small) that this lady is here to take care of him and stay with him while mom will be at work.

If we choose kindergarten/nursery

Advantages

◦ The child constantly learns new things, spends time creatively, cultivates skills through games, songs, drawings, constructions, etc.
◦ The child interacts with other children and develops the ability to be social.
◦ The mother trusts more easily the organized environment of the nursery/kindergarten, where there are also other children, more than a nanny who does not know her well or two old people like grandfather and grandmother.
◦ In contrast to the gentle environment of the home, daycare/kindergarten has rules and a program that the child must follow, rules that he must respect.
◦ The nursery/kindergarten solution is very economical.

Disadvantages

◦ You must be punctual both in the morning and in the afternoon.
◦ Especially during the first year in nursery/kindergarten, because he comes into contact with many children, your child will constantly get various infections, which means that you need to be prepared: he will spend most of his time at home, so he must have an alternative for when he is sick.
◦ State nurseries/kindergartens are closed for long periods of time for summer vacations…So you need an alternative babysitter.

Advice

◦ It is preferable that the child has learned to walk before going to daycare. The appropriate time is when the child is 18 months old.
◦ Ideally, at first the child should spend a few hours in the nursery and then gradually increase the hours of stay until the full time.
◦ If the regulations allow, the daycare can be combined with the nanny or grandmother, who can take him home earlier.
◦ We must always reassure the children by explaining that we will send them to daycare. For example, say, “I'm taking you to daycare and I'll pick you up later. At the nursery you will meet your friends and teachers." This must be repeated every day, we must talk to the child and tell him what will happen.
◦ Do not pet the child, as he will be afraid that something bad will happen to him or us.
◦ When he returns from daycare, you should give him time to get to know you again, to remember your scent and voice. You must remember that the child needs his space, family environment, mom and dad's voice, his bed, toys and room.

If we choose the grandmother

Advantages

◦ The child stays with the grandmother and we are sure that he is with someone who loves him and wants to take care of him in the best way.
◦ This option is more economical!
◦ We can feel safe. Grandma will not only take care of the baby, but also cook for him and hold him for long hours if we need to stay longer in the office or decide to go out for a quick coffee after work!

Disadvantages

◦ Grandparents tend to spoil their grandchildren. For this reason, it may happen that the child we receive during the return home is…another child.
◦ Grandmothers and their friends have a hard time saying no to a child who begs for candy, chips, to watch TV or eat chips!
◦ Grandmothers are usually of an advanced age which means they may not be able to meet the child's needs (for walks or games).

Advice

◦ Explain to the grandmother that there are limits to the child's desires and that this is good for everyone - but more so for the child.
◦ Give Grandma a cell phone that we can use to communicate with her whenever she needs to.

Conclusion

Regardless of which of the three options you choose, it is important for the child to understand that in addition to mom and dad, there are other people in his environment with whom he can feel safe. So make sure the child meets other children in parks, playgrounds, etc.

Ideally, every time you can go for visits, take the child with you so that he knows all the uncles, aunts, aunts, grandparents, etc. Through this process of meeting other loved ones, the child gradually develops a sense of being prepared for meeting new faces or being away from the constant attention of mom or dad.


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